my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
