singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
