How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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