How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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