HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
