I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
