She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
