3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
