"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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