Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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