and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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