After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
