a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
