You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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