yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
