she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
