Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
