I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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