I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
