Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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