i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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