I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
