so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize