He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
