Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
