i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
