This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize