I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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