Sry I called you an 8
she woke up with a sticky ear
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
