Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
are you so shy because you have an std?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
