you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
