Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
