Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
