her vagine was all disorganized.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i think my cat just said my name.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
