so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
