at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
