those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
