Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
