There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
