she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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