sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
