someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think I won the penis lottery.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
