you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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