Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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