Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
