i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
