Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
