am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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