i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
