When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
