and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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