The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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