Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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