He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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