I accidentally had phone sex last night
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
