i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize