"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
