I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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