I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
