Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
