I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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