What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize