i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
