She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
